DATING IN ATLANTA

Dating in Atlanta for all ages in this metro of a city comes with many challenges! As the world and the views of society and a plethora of opinions has singles in Atlanta in a tizzy! Men and women that have complaints and uneasy opinions about the state of singledom in the city that attracts more and more to transition for personal, financial, employment and or a fresh start because of what they may have heard by family or friends of what this “magical city” has to offer. I must admit, my first move here to the new “Big Apple” had my nose wide open! I was not, of course, thinking of love or being in any relationship. It was to experience the many things the city had to offer. A new start and entrepreneurship had me at hello! This article will be a bias and unbiased view of what women are against when looking for a stable relationship and of course love in Atlanta. So, this article, of course, is my feelings, my opinion, and view of the dating scene in Atlanta. For me the dating scene has been like a circus filled with many stunts, spectacular shows of highs and lows and un-ended unfulfilled expectations of that have been given and not fulfilled in any way. It is like working out to the max and wanting a glass of water. Once you get this clean frosted clear glass handed to you and when you go to take a sip. There is nothing in the glass! Let me expound more. Let me give you some statistics about Atlanta first. Also, let me state before I share these statistics that they were up to date at the time of this article. According to the Gallop Percentage in 2015 Atlanta has a 4.2% of LGBT community residing in and around the city and its suburbs. Which is almost at %50 of the citie’s residencies in and around the city. So that now cuts down the dating for those who are heterosexual as me. According to the Business Insider, there are 5,238,994 people living in Atlanta. For heterosexual men and women living in and around the city. There are 20 women for every one single man! That is crazy in itself! Also, the Business Insider reports the divorce rate is 9.1% of males and 12.6% of females. Now if I were to do the statistics on my own I would say personally that with the women of that 12.6% of divorce rate is 7.8% due to infidelity and the rest of it would simply be irreconcilable differences or simply just fell out of love. Pretty high huh? With the men, I would say out of that 9.1% than 6% simply fell out of love and did not feel the woman they married did not live up to why he married her in the first place. The rest of that percentage would be irreconcilable differences. Of course, we know that irreconcilable differences could be a plethora of things! But mainly just not seeing eye to eye on many levels and it has caused an emotional dysfunction between the two and in the marriage. The union is toxic and no one has time for that! According to the Atlanta Patch updated January 23, 2018, the incarceration rate in federal prison and jail of one year or more is currently at 1,505,400. This, of course, is a mix of women and men. Men ranking the highest. That is a high rate when we look at the population of Atlanta. So now that cuts down the single eligible men in Atlanta. Due in part that Atlanta is now the new “Hollywood”, there are many women that have changed focus. Nothing is new under the sun! I mean for ages women have and always will be attracted to men that are powerful. I am not saying all women want and go search for a man that has heavy influence in the business world and or career. The new word is “clout chasers” or “thoughts” If we really look at it from just a unbias perception and what a man is responsible for doing for a woman. Which is to be the head of the household. He is to provide security. Able to fully take care of this woman and his family by any means necessary. It is indeed a huge load and responsibility to carry due to our current state in the world of financial security. And while most, not all women have the idea of the “perfect family” ie fairytale of the house with the white picket fence and love ever after. Most women want a man that is financially secure. Hence, it is now a bad thing to hook up with a man that is not doing well financially. So, is it truly a bad thing when a woman wants to be with a man simply for what he can do for her and what he can’t do for her? It is a thought. While I do not advocate nor condone a woman being with a man simply for money and nothing else. This is a grave she digs for herself. Because if you are looking simply at the wallet and bank accounts of a man. And would date any man that has money and could care less of what he looks like, his weight, his core values. Then yes! This could be a clout chaser, a gold digger. Because if this man did not have money, one would not ever give this man of lowly looks a chance! So now I will break down what is here for single women to date in Atlanta. The Player The player is one or both. He could or could not have a nice stream of income. The player that does have disposable income is able to afford to date more than one woman. This could be in many ways. Dating does not always constitute some elaborate dinners and lunches. It is small things like drinks, coffee, flowers here and there. The thoughtful things a man could do. Now when a woman comes across a man that is all about the show with his money. Whoa! That means yes! You will be romanced and charmed with the elaborate dinners, weekend getaways, shopping sprees, money given. The player that shows you what he has via the car that he drives, the clothes he wears along with arrogance and cockiness that comes with this. A player will date and have more than the only lover. He may not have sex with each and every woman that he has met in his life. But he indeed lets her know she is the only one and he is looking for in a relationship. There is the player that is not doing so well in life but is physically attractive. He is charming and enticing and of course, knows exactly what to say to woo a woman. Just as the player that has money does. But the player with money mostly lets his money talk for him. This player who is down on his financial luck that fronts like he has it going on will have the clothes and car. He has made sure he looks good and drives good and may take you out to dinner or lunch here and there. Give you flowers and do sweet things for you. But it will not be much because he does not have much. Then you have the player who is simply the sticky stuff at the bottom of the barrel! He is a leech and a bomb! He goes from one woman to the next woman. Seeking to find one better than the next or looking for a woman that can do for him in any way possible. This player has not too much to offer but sweet words and compliments all the time. Convincing a woman he is the one for her and she is the one for him. He offers sex, (great sex) Not to say a man with money is not great or cannot be great in bed. But it seemingly feels for a lot of the women I have spoken with that the bad boy, the one man you would not really want to have because he does not have his life in order is a great lover! Due to the fact that a lot of men who think they are great in bed are really not! So, when some women come across this type of player, she has a hard time of letting him go because he brings her thrills and frills in bed and walks away tingling and feeling high! There is also the married player that loves having other women in his life but does not want a divorce from his wife. He has had many affairs or long-term affairs with a woman and of course, the woman that he is having an affair with could be married herself. One would be surprised at the many women that have settled for men that do not have what they truly want from a partner. Security, loyalty, true companionship, and friendship. She will choose the lowly man just to have a man. Rather he is a cheater, married, liar, no job having man! Loneliness is a beast! The Bi-Sexual/Down Low Man I do appreciate the man/men that are transparent about their sexuality. However, there is a huge percentage of men that are transparent of being attracted to the same sex. With the liberation of the LGBTQ community that has made great strides in society. Are open and true to whom they are and whom they love. There are many men that are not comfortable with accepting whom they are and forthright in regards to their sexuality. Is there anything wrong with being attracted to men and women. Some of the men that are attracted to the same sex are not fully able nor have the confidence to admit they are so they stay “in the closet” this poses a huge problem for women that are under the assumption this man is heterosexual. But yet he is doing men and women. He will cheat with another man rather being married or single. This is a dangerous man for a single woman. The Perpetrator This is a dangerous man in my opinion. He is simply fronting! He is great at spinning tales to women of how he operates and navigates through life. From what he drives, wears lives life and his principles. Now the fine line with this is. This man will tell and not tell half-truths. He has a job but can tell you that he has a position with this company that he really does not have. He indeed works there but holds a position at the lower portion of the totem pole. He lives in a pretend world. One he wished he had. A life that he feels will catch the attention of a woman because he sees that the men that dress, drive and have money are. They can get any woman they want. Also feeling that this is the consensus of what women want because so many women do! Everything pretty much he says to a woman is believable because it does not come across far-fetched. However, this man is sharp! He reads a woman and listens to what she says of course by asking her what she is looking for and needs from a man. As any person who is asked this question will be transparent about what they want from a man or woman will be clear. However, the perpetrator will take this information and use it for himself to get that woman if he is interested in her. Use it against her. The perpetrator also knows when he has met a woman that is out of his league. Knowing this, and his want and lust to have this woman by all means necessary! The woman that meets this man is wowed and wooed immensely! She gets caught up by the words and actions of this man. But all in all the seams will fall apart because as time goes by she will find out that he is a fraud! Some women stay! Convincing themselves he is still a good man. But how can he be a good man if he has lied to you? The grounded woman will know there is no future in your fronting and that this will cause more issues so she needs to sidestep immediately! The User The user is just that! He is looking for any woman! She could be unattractive, over-weight, sexy, very attractive or just a regular looking woman. He may have a particular woman that he is attracted to like most men. But he looks for the woman that is vulnerable. He can see the vulnerability and smell it on her as well. Just like a pimp that is scouting for girls to place in his stable. So, he knows the insecure woman, the lowly woman, the hurt woman, the sad woman, the needy, low self-esteem woman. He flies in and snatches her up! It is indeed a plus for the women that I have just mentioned if he is sexy and attractive. This is just what she needs to boost her self-confidence and show him off to family and friends. The user is very charming and beguiling. He is a like the perpetrator that lies all the time. But he will tell lies to get what he wants. The user is just that! He needs money, a place to stay, sex, food, and attention from a woman. But mostly the user wants the money! When one gets the user that is only there for the money, a place to rest his head. This is a bad man for a woman and very dangerous for her emotionally and mentally! She buys into the lies he is having a hard time. No one cares, no one has his back. He is a good man. No one will give him a chance. People have used him, hurt him, lied to him and it has brought him down on his luck from simply giving to any and all in need. He spins this tale hoping to reel the woman in emotionally. When he does, pokino bingo! He has slain her! The user does not do much to assist the woman. Why would he? He lays around most of the day. He drives her car if he does not have one. He watches TV all day. Talks to other women and has a fake relationship with them also. The money he is given by the woman he has convinced to move in with pays for the dates of the other women he is seeing. He can barely keep a job, looking for a job all on the victim’s dime. He may help her in the beginning. Doing household chores. Maybe cooking a meal or two. Running bath water, serving her like a queen. But eventually, this giving of himself runs out. He eventually shows you who he is. A man who sleeps all day does nothing to upkeep the home. The home is now messy. No meals cooked. Utilities are higher, food can’t stay in the fridge. He takes the car and stays gone longer than he should. You now see him for the leech and bomb he truly is. You also know there is someone else other than you because the signs are there not be ignored! The User/Giver The user/giver is a mess and three halves! He not only has all of the qualities of the user, but he is also a giver too! Oh, how lucky is the woman that gets him! Now the user/giver unlike the user only. He gives in so many ways! He cooks, cleans, walks the dog, washes cars. He swoons over her, compliments her all the time. He will pick flowers from a person’s yard to give them to her. He runs bath water. He is simply amazing! Unlike the user, the user/giver knows that he has to keep this up in order for the woman he is using not to get rid of him! It works for a while on the woman that is suffering or is in need to have a man. But as time goes along the woman he is with will soon tire of this man because she is not only taking care of herself. She is taking care of him as if he is her child. The Bad Boy While a lot of women are attracted to this man. He is a man one really needs to watch out for as well. He is alluring because he provides edginess, adventure, and sex at its finest! He is a player, cocky, arrogant and is not the loyal type whatsoever! He will not lie nor deceive a woman of whom he is. He is very transparent! He is sexy in some form or another. But it is fact that he is just that, a bad boy! Now I have not listed all of the men that are out here in these Atlanta streets.(not that these men are not everywhere) Just a few that are walking around. However, the men listed are those that have many women to choose from. Let me be clear. With the statistics of twenty women to one man here. There are so many women to choose from and this could be quite hard for a man that does not consider fidelity, loyalty, commitment nor being faithful an option! Why? When there is so much candy out here. It is more fun for some men to have their pick of women in the city of Atlanta no matter how many because of simply lust and greediness of that man. What these men really fail to realize is that it takes a lot of energy! I have come across a few of these type and can see the BS when it is told to me. This, of course, is not including the men that have addiction issues, mental issues, emotional issues and overall unstable. So, this also cuts down on the eligible men here in Atlanta! This is why now when I see gorge women with men I feel she could do better in the looks department. But women are now opening up and looking at a variety of men not and just not looks! Dating in Atlanta, marrying in Atlanta has and is like looking for a job or starting a new business. A lot of work, time, effort and many disappointments. However, the light at the end of the tunnel. If you would like to look at it in this way. You can have as many sexual liaisons your heart desires! Because a lot of the men here want only that from a woman. As much as they can get and handle! Isn't that what the long walks,talks and dating leads to? The bedroom? While there are some men that are transparent and tell you that they are not looking for a commitment nor marriage. Most of the men here in Atlanta are saying they truly want to be in a committed relationship just so they can have sex. Simply put!